40 weeks and we have a BABY! (with a name, too!)

Well! Friday marked 40 weeks and Saturday marked baby B's due date! And low and behold, I went into labor on Friday! I woke up around 430 Friday morning to whats known as a "bloody show"- yes i know, lovely for all you men out there to read about, but the ladies will know all about this! I was pretty excited to see this! I told Ben who went on to work as usual and told me just to keep him posted. I decided to go shopping with mom friday morning to try to keep moving and noticed around noon that i was having painless braxton hicks contractions ( which i had often but this time they were time-able). they were coming about every 10 min and lasting about 1 min. but i also knew this could happen weeks before delivery so i didnt put too much thought into it. I got home about 1 and decided to clean just in case this was the beginning of the end! At around 3 i decided to take a shower, blow out my hair and do a mud mask facial! You know, just in case he was coming soon i wanted to be presentable haha! At about 4 the braxton hicks began to feel like menstrual cramps and at 5 Ben got home and I updated him on what had been going on and he of course got antsy and wanted to know "exactly when" baby would arrive! At 6 the pain was getting strong enough that i was closing my eyes and just trying to distract myself from it. The pains were 4-7 min. apart lasting about 30-60 seconds.

 At 6:17 i paged my midwife to see what she thought i should do. Since it was after hours, the midwives had a call center that pages them for patients and they then call you back once they get the page. I was not getting any calls back and began to panic a little since the pains were so close together and beginning to hurt more and more. I had the midwife paged 2 more times before calling labor and delivery personally at around 7:45 to explained what was happening since i knew the midwives usually returned pages within about 5 min. or less. Within a minute my midwife called and explained that the call center was suppose to be calling her cell not a pager- so she had never received the pages! She asked me what was going on and said since i was able to talk to her through the pain that she thought it was likely i could stay home longer if id like and i agreed. I def. didnt want to dive all the way to vandy to be told to go home! So i took a bath which helped a lot and eased the pain. At around 845 i got out of the bath and instantly doubled over in pain. I was full of tears and yelled for Ben- I had him call the midwife back and tell her we were now ready and on our way! In the car the pains intensified and were about 2 min. apart lasting only about 30 seconds, but i was still nervous with them being 2 min. apart and we had a 35 min. drive to make! Ben turned the flashers on and we coasted at about 80 the whole way- as i lie there SURE that i was dying...I was sure of it! we arrived to the ER and i was wheeled inside to answer questions and sign a few things- which is the worst possible time to do either of these things...I couldve signed my life away and never known it by this point! And i didnt care, i just wanted to be moved to L&D! The lady at the check in im sure thought i was exaggerating my pain bc she mentioned that i looked way too good to be in labor ( but again, i had taken the time earlier in the day to do full hair and makeup haha)  About 15 min. later both ben and I were wheeled to triage in L&D and met Murphy, our amazing nurse! 

By now it was about 10pm. I was containing myself but in so much pain. I changed into a gown and my midwife, Lauren, arrived to check my cervix. To our AMAZEMENT she said, " well i feel a head FULL of hair and you are about 7cm!" We couldnt believe i had labored at home that long! I was quite proud actually! But that explained why I was in so much pain! By the way, the exam to check your cervix is one of the worst pains ive ever experienced in my entire life...no one tells you that part, not sure why? The midwife said, " Wow, we thought you were going to be at about 1cm considered how great you look- i had to laugh and explain again that earlier in the day consisted of beautifying my face and hair bc i was sure he wouldnt arrive today but thought 'just in case' id be ready haha! 

We were then taken to L&D and by this point I def. thought i was going to die, or maybe i already had?   within minutes my best friend Ashlee arrived followed by my mom who was panicking bc she thought she may miss it all considering how fast i dilated to begin with! At this point it was about 11 and I was no longer laughing and having fun, and the breaks between the contractions were no longer long enough to give me relief. I was hanging over the side of the bed, rocking back and forth as my midwife and mom rubbed my back and coached me on. Ben was there being a great support as well as Ashlee.  At this point i was asked if i needed an intervention for pain- i guess i was appearing pretty tortured. My plan was to use nitrous oxide and/ or a tub ( for laboring not for delivery) and BOTH were unavailable which triggered a bit of a meltdown when i was told this sad news. So i felt helpless, i had nothing to help the pain but had always said i did not want an epidural. I endured several more contractions which by now were almost back to back, before asking for anesthesia to come and start an epidural. I had to give in and take whatever i could get. 

An anesthesia fellow, whom i had seen many times before, arrived to talk about the epidural. I was given fentanyl through my IV to take the edge off so that he could actually start the epidural and that was a blessing in itself. At that moment, i knew the epidural would be a good choice for me bc i had a breakdown similar to that of an infant, brought on by the worst contraction id felt- and you feel completely helpless for yourself bc they cant be stopped. The epidural was painless and easy ( not sure why so many people express such pain over getting these, i felt nothing and had no discomfort?). By this point i was 9cm and midnight and felt like i let myself down since i was practically at the point of pushing. But i had to remind myself that this is my choice and what i needed at that moment. I did not have complete relief with the edpidural bc it started so late but it did take the edge off the contractions. The pressure was out of this world and one of the worst parts of labor. The epidural did NOT take away the pressure and i was told this too was bc i got one so late. Id say i could feel 50% of the pains that were occurring and they were non-stop by this point. But, this was better than the prior pain so i was still very upbeat! 

Company came in and out and that helped distract me and keep me going. The midwife had me do a practice push to see where I was with moving the baby down and decided she wanted me to "labor down"for a while, meaning moving me to various positions to help lower him deeper and deeper until they were ready for me to push. Otherwise, id only exhaust myself and the baby and slow the whole process down. He just wasnt low enough yet- but try telling that to the pressure being felt in my bottom- everyone laughed bc i kept swearing my insides were outside with that amount of pressure! In the mean time, I swore i kept peeing myself, but actually had been slowly feeling my water leaking/ breaking. At 2am it was time to push, i had expressed an extreme need to push and by this point the epidural was non-existant. I had a button to push ( like a PCA) that would deliver more epidural but we decided i would not use it bc if i could feel labor, i could push better and get him out easier and sooner. So i essentially let the epidural wear off...what an experience that was! So at 10 cm and 2am we began pushing. This, is actually one of the best feelings in labor- it is such relief and exactly what your body wants to do. plus, i knew the reward was in sight and that in itself gives you the strength! I could see the light at the end of the tunnel! They sat a mirror up for me to use for the birth- I had never seen a birth, and I knew that if i could see him that it would give me the strength to keep going. I at this point, could feel everything and i mean EVERYTHING again. I even helped move around in the bed as they needed me to so i knew the epidural was long gone and i almost felt glad bc i had not wanted one to begin with; but was grateful for what bit of help it provided the last hour and a half. 

After 2 hours of moving, repositioning and pushing- and i mean pushing more than i ever thought possible! - he arrived! The end was worse than i couldve ever imagined, I am sure i turned into a different person and im sure my mom and Ben would agree. I just remember screaming and just about coming out the bed bc of such pain and pressure. I now can say I experienced what is referred to as the "ring of fire" and the description is right on target. None the less, It was amazing watching this head full of hair move closer and closer to the world! The neatest moment was right at the end when I was getting prepared for another set of pushes, and as i began i felt what would be his last kicks inside if me and they were low, all the way in my pelvis, helping me get him out. It was pretty amazing to say the least! And i was grateful to not be numb and feel that last moment of my baby inside me.

 I was amazed that labor went that fast for a first timer! I helped bring him out and into the world and then placed him skin to skin on top of me- he was so content, eyes wide open and no cries at all! He just looked around at Ben and I laid there as if nothing had happened! We chose delayed cord clamping which id previously mentioned in the blog and the benefits of doing this. After all the blood was emptied from the placenta/ cord, Ben was able to cut the cord. The placenta was then gently delivered, and I began nursing him in whats known as the "golden hour" where right after birth, a baby is very awake and alert for about 1 hour. Ben and I were left alone to meet our baby and nurse him. We had chosen early on to have everything delayed so we could enjoy this hour- so no tests, weights, heights, baths, etc were done. He was never taken away from us for any reason from the moment he came out. And we loved this! Just the 3 of us were able to bond and meet one another. He nursed for the entire hour, which is amazing as I had no clue what to do, but he did. 

After that he was weighed- an astounding 9.9lb and 22 inches! He actually looks thin but i guess that one extra inch of height added on some chunkiness! He has a head full of black hair and of course we think hes just perfect. Lots of family waited all night to meet him and began coming in to see the new little man! We were all alone by about 7am and napped for about 1.5 hours before getting up for breakfast. We had the baby bathed in the time we napped and then had him returned to us. We stayed in L&D until a room came available for us at about 12. This room was small and temporary before we were later moved to an amazing corner room made up of nothing but windows- it was massive and well worth the wait! We were put in this room at about  2pm. We used this time to just relax and admire our baby before having more company begin to visit at about 5. At about 7 we were all alone again. Hi aunt Ashlee came to tell him goodnight at about 9 before leaving so Ben and I could go eat dinner before hitting the bed after 24 hours of no sleep. 

That night we slept, well none. Ben slept ok, but i tried to nurse several times and baby cried in between that so it resulted in no sleep. The nursery took him at about 2am to do a few tests such as his hearing test and he returned at 5am- so i was able to sleep great in that time frame! But i was very happy to have him returned to us! Sunday we got up and went to a discharge teaching class. We came back to our room and knew we had to finally narrow down his name and turn in the paperwork for his birth certificate. We decided to name him Phoenix Rainne Butterworth. Its a mouthful but we thought it was strong and unique and suited him perfectly. Finally Baby B was a Phoenix. After that, I was discharged and at about 1pm baby was discharged by his pediatrician. We took photos of his coming home outfit being put on and swaddled him up and walked out. That was it...we were officially parents. We spent about 20 min. in the parking garage figuring out the car seat buckles and then we were off! It felt quite bizarre! 

I cant explain how awesome the whole experience was and agree that you instantly think your baby is amazing and you love them so much. Also, after such a fete you give your own mother a whole new level of credit for what they did to get you here! Now that we are home, we are so grateful for this perfect baby and already cant believe hes 2 days old! plus, hes already changed so much! The experience was life changing as every parent will say and something you NEVER forget! Now, both Phoenix and mommy have diapers to wear! And sleep has been non-existant, but instead of getting frustrated i am trying to remember that hell only be this way for a short minute and i want to eat up every second. I just want to keep him this way forever so it doesnt go by too fast. Phoenix Rainne you are loved more than you will EVER know. We are already so proud of you. You are perfection.

Hitting the week 40 mark; little did i know it was D-Day! luckily i took one last toe photo:

The calm before the storm!

Time to push! 

hes here!