Mouse Trap.

Heres p. Traumatized and Napping after our "Mouse Trap nearly sent us to the EMERGENCY ROOM" ordeal. One steel ball present. One steel ball to be hunted for in the potty. 😐 this boy has nearly given me a heart attack many times, today may have taken the cake

We bought mouse trap yestersay. And After our huge discussion last night regarding NOT to put the steel marbles in his mouth and why, He went ahead and swallowed the steel marble in the mouse trap game anyways. On accident of course, but The look of sheer panic on his face when it happened nearly sent me to my grave. He was able to breath the whole time but vomited right after bc he wanted it to come up so bad that he made him self throw up. He was shaking and crying. Oh my gosh. I called the pediatrician on call and she called 4 other Drs. They all said to wait and watch his poop bc its not a battery. Not magnetic. And not sharp. So- he is aware he is to tell us when he has to poop and ONLY poop on his little potty so we can sift. During his inital tears he cried out "i Need gma please Call gma. She has to come over" later when all was calm and i asked why he needed gma ( knowing why just wanting to hear his reason) he said, "Bc i thought i was gonna like die or something and everyday i think im gonna die i need her "

Thank you God that this ended the way it did and not with a worse, alrernate ending. Sheesh. 

Update:

5 long days later..... The ball made its way into the potty! Hooray! His stomach acid changed the color almost completely black! When he saw wed retreived it he explaimed, "hooray! Now i can breath again!" Im relieved as well!

Booster seat and underwear!

Last week put on and pulled up his undies all on his own! Then yesterday we put his booster seat for the dining room table up in the attic :( he can now sit at the table without any extra height and it was so sad and difficult putting it away! But hes so happy to be a big boy and even said this morning "im so sad my paci got a hole in it but im so glad i get to be a big boy!"  Always looking to

Grow up fast and accomplish the net task. Too bad we all discover too late in life that its not worth rushing. Here he is this am tracing in his workbook. He learned how to make a "check" mark today too! He was so proud! And i was too! 

Spelling champ!

Mom wrote me at work today and said,"He said in his room today ,T R A I N  train !!!! He was Looking at the pics on the wall and also spelled C A R  car!" And the other day you looked at your monthly calander i have hanging and all by yourseld spelled February! Yesterday i walked in the kitchen and on your daily board you had put the numbers 1-9 in order all alone! We are so proud! Such a fast little learner! Always has been! 

Papa poem from grandma

Mom is simply amazing at writing rhymes and poems and she didnt fail us regarding the ending of the paci either!

The Pa Pa 

I'm 3 1/2 , and my name is Phoenix Rainne

I have so many toys that it really is insane !

But since the day that i was born 

By far my favorite thing

Was this little piece of plastic with a tiny little ring 

I used it when i was happy 

Or when I was feeling blue 

Sometimes i even used it on the potty too.

I called this toy my pa pa 

Oh it was a marvelous thing 

I only took it out to eat or drink or sing 

But time is moving on and now pa pa has grown old

It has a hole or tear in it , ( one even had some mold )!!

It's time to find a new best thing to play with and enjoy

But Papa will always be my first and favorite toy

Now it's okay to let it go because im almost 4 

And God gave me a mouth to use for talking and much more .

So farewell my papa friend I'll always love you so 

But time is moving on so I have to let you go.

Gone but not forgotten ...

Love , Grandma 

Bye bye paci. Bye bye baby.

Last night about 2am p woke me and cried "mommy my papa has a hole!"  Wed been waiting for it bc we could see a crack forming in one spot of it. And he knew it was the last one we had and that once gone, they were all gone. My last memory of the papa and my baby will be of the middle of the night when he said that,and groggily plopped it into my mouth, to test it out myself and confirming the hole was ever present, then returning it to his mouth to see if hed still want it for the remainder of the night. He was a bit upset anout it but slepy enough that he kept it in and slept the rest of the night. I assured him wed figure it all out in the morning. Once he woke this am at 730, the first thing he said to me ( which is how he woke me up), with concern and hope

In his voice was, "mommy, Papa got a hole in it... Mommy can u sew it! Maybe thag will fix it. (I sadly said that wouldnt work bc it would only create more holes) Can u tape it? (I explained that wouldnt work either as you may choke on the tape) What can we do to fix this problem?"  He then ran to the hall closet and said hpoefully, "i have an idea!" He returned to me with the stud finder in hopes of having found a solution. Poor baby. But then, miraculously and for the first time ever, he went all day without it! Maybe bc we cleaned all day and atayed busy, but never once did he ask for

It. Even when we rested in the afternoon and watched a little tv. He did say at one point "im not ready to be a big boy, ok yeah im a big boy now". 

But then. It was bedtime. And just like that this baby fell asleep without it. No fight. No tears. A moment of wimper when he aske me to go buy a new one. But then Just sadly said," mommy. Ill just dream about my papa tonight ".  ive never forced any weaning onto him bc i know all things come to an end. And i knew the paci would be no different despite some of the grocery store remarks we've received. But to me, its the last of the baby days and painful and proud all at once. My tears are happy tonight for my babies strength and sad for the baby hes leaving behind. That is motherhood i suppose: proud and sad.

The last papa pic: 2 days ago with       grandma

Blue toes

Today i stole a photo of you and daddy at the grocery store as you waited on me in the deli line. Once home you brought me blue polish and said "mommy, i wsnt blue toes bc i wanna be like you. And daddy likes blue" so i said okie dokie! Who says its only for girls? You sat so still to have them painted and were so pleased afterwards! Then mitch visited and you enjoyed that a lot bc he is quite silly! 

I carry your heart

"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is doneby only me is your doing,my darling)"- E.E Cummings 

Books with sentiment

Tonight as we read a new, old, book we found at the goodwill you made some sweet connections between the photos and your life. When you saw the front cover you said," awe this is me and pawpaw. We pull gummy worms apart like that! We share! I use the blue side and pawpaw pulls the yellow side" 

And when you saw this photo you said,"thats jazzi! And thats me!" 

Sleepy head then and now..plus some injuires

The lovely bruise on his face came from a nice fall down the garage stairs, first fall down them yet and id be awaiting the day, after i fell off the piano bench and possibly fractured my ankle and soraned my wrist. P came to aide with love, worry, ice packs and his black stuffed sheep. He was the best doctor. He ran to the freezer on his own and everyrhing as i cried in pain. This also marked my first time crying in front of him and boy did he want to take care of mommy. Nothing sweeter. Im telling you. I was covered in hugs and kisses from this sweet soul. Once i got up to get an ace wrap he followed me to the garage to retrieve it from my car and thats when he fell. It wasnt even 5 minutes after my fall. We werw cryibg together. My injury took back seat when p fell, i ran to him on thag ankle and cared for him just like he had me. Mamas feel no pain when it comes to their baby! So aside from the sweet then and now sleeping photos, here have you our bruised and battered injuries!

Bindin then and now

Swaddled in the brand new, fresh perfection of bindin's soft fabric and vibrant colors at only a few days old, compared to the well loved, pilled fabric, dirty corner, magical comfort of a 3 year 5 month old bindin filled with memories, meaning and love. The more he loves his bindin, the more comfort it brings me as well. This is our happy place: bindin❤️

Name speller

In the bath you yelled "mommy come here come look! I spelled my name!... And im 3!" Lroud mama for such a wonderful attempt at spelling and he nailed that p,x and 3! 

Mall time

Today you were a bit snotty but very happy so we made a trip to the mall to make a return. As always you loved the escalator. And got a pretzel. And got a drink. And we rode the carasoul for the first time at this particular mall. And you got to ride all the kiddie quarter rides. It was a great time! Once home you amazed me by bringing me a lego creation you made and said "look mommy! Its the merry go round at the mall! " it had horses on it too! I was amazed as usual. (The white thing in the middle is your space ship!)

changing seasons

today I read this amazing article written by a fellow mama and loved it  and I cried some too I wont lie. it really captures whats important and how i think most mamas feel: teetering between perfection and failure. I wanted to put this in the blog so I could always come back and read it again, and to convey to phoenix ( and future babies if we are blessed with more) just how motherhood feels and how I already long for days of the past, before they've even occurred. i am perpetually scared to miss any moment and know, that I will want these days back so badly in the future. luckily I can honestly say that I do not take them for granted nor have I ever wished them away, or wished them to speed up, as so many mamsa may do. but none the less, this article hits home in some many ways...

"I remember the season when I had two tiny ones under my feet all day long, and the days were long. The nights were often even longer. It was a season filled with wild emotions, exhaustion, unbelievable joy, discovery, and what felt like a never-ending marathon of diaper changes. I was very often bleary-eyed from another night of waking with multiple children or teary-eyed from seeing my firstborn son give his brother a gentle kiss on his head while he slept.
I captured a lot of miracle moments in that season, but I also wished too many away. I used to wish they were out of diapers. I used to wish they'd just sleep through the night. I used to wish for a bit of “me time.” There were nights when I would lie down with them until they fell asleep, and I would be entirely present in that moment, running my fingers through silky hair as I told them story after story. Those were beautiful nights.

Then, of course there were other nights when I just wanted to be done. I felt frustrated that they couldn't go to sleep on their own, and I questioned every parenting decision I'd made up to that point. Those were wasted nights. I accept grace for those nights. I am only human, after all. What felt like the season that would never end suddenly did.
I realized recently that I can no longer pick up my youngest son. He's too big. Too heavy. When did that happen? When was the last time I sat him down off my hip? My oldest son is nearly half way to adulthood now. Wasn't he just under my feet, asking me to play trains while I was trying to feed his baby brother?
If you are in a tough season, I want to offer you some encouragement today. I know it feels like she will never be potty trained or that he will never sleep through the night. I know you wonder if he will ever stop hitting or start sharing. You lie down at night weary from the day, unable to rest because you feel guilty for yelling.

You wonder if you are doing anything right. You are. You're doing just fine because you care enough to wonder. This season will pass, and while I won't tell you to enjoy every second because that is pretty ridiculous. I will advise you to be intentional about being present and capturing as many beautiful memories as you can, because in no time at all, those memories are all you will have of this season.

I'm in a brand new season now – a season of cub scout camp outs and baseball games. My big boys don't need me to get them to sleep anymore. Some nights I kiss them goodnight and go to my own bed, grab a book, and think of how relaxing and nice it is to have some time for me. Oh, but there are other nights, mama. Nights when I lie there listening to them giggle with each other in their room, and tears silently fall to my pillow because they don't need me to get them to sleep anymore. They need me just a little less than they used to. And that's okay – that means they're growing, but I would like for them to grow a bit slower.

These days, I find myself making new wishes. I wish they were back in diapers. I wish I could still rock them to sleep. I wish I could still pick them up and swing them around. So, you'd better believe that when I'm sitting at that ballgame tomorrow, I'm not going to be watching my clock and wishing for bedtime. I'm going to be watching my children intently, trying my best to commit to memory the gangly limbs running the bases and the smile I get when they catch a glimpse of me in the stands.
I'm going to be present because I know this season of motherhood won't last long enough. The next time I blink, they'll be teenagers. And they'll want my car. Heaven help me, they'll want my car.
Enjoy your babies today, mamas. Whether they're teeny tiny or all grown up. Enjoy this time with them, because it all ends one day. Except the laundry. That really does last forever."