Simple Life

I feel like turning 30 must be some kind of marker for finding yourself, or maybe just changing your mind about who you thought you were. Since having P two and a half years ago, I changed so much anyways. The way I looked at life and situations changed drastically. I began to slow down- by choice and by necessity bc i have a child who is quite spirited and its a bit more difficult to go out and about (unless i want to exhaust myself), but i also slowed down bc when you have a child you realize whats important. No longer were nights out, or shopping for clothes a priority ( maybe for some moms but not this one). I realized being quick tempered or easily angered was the child version of myself. Children push every button, and just the right ones, and if you are easily angered, you likely will have regret as you lie in bed at the end of the night, and you will also risk doing or saying things you can never take back. I also do not want to raise a child who is quick to anger. Ben still struggles with this personality trait, but he has improved for sure. As a mom however, I conquered that beast immediately. having a baby will provide infinite opportunities to work on improving your temper haha ( i.e: being exhausted, waking 2000 times a night, not getting a chance to eat, cleaning up the same mess 2000 times a day, teaching the same lessons 2000 times a day, driving down the road with a nonstop screaming child, driving 9 hours to the beach with a nonstop screaming child, getting hit in the supermarket by the fist of a toddler..the list is really endless with each changing age category).

Turning 30, however, marked a year of even more mental growth and change. I now have a 2.5 year old who has taught me more about life in those 30 short months than my 23 years in formal education. This year I guess some would say i have become a grandma....

 I want a country house with a screened door and a clothes line in the backyard, with nothing inside of it except things that are old and reliable. I no longer want for ultra modern decor busting at the seams, but instead ive sold or given away nearly everything in my home ( and you still cant even tell- ive got a long way to go) in search of a simpler, minimalist lifestyle. I have become even more obsessed with foods that are real and clean and put here by God ( I am not perfect, i consume plenty that I shouldnt, but i know whats right and wrong and work everyday to avoid those foods that man has made..foods that shouldnt even be labeled as "food"). I have been making things homemade for a while now anyways, especially since having P and making all his own babyfood, but now i want to make everything at home- ive made my own lotion and have plans to make my own laundry soap and house cleaner,  and am making my notes currently for our garden this summer. I just suddnely want nothing to do with the modern world ( minus air conditioning. Im not sure i could part ways with this beautiful invention).

 I have become even more in fear of our government and those who "lead" us, trusting pretty much nothing that they deem safe or good (i.e our food, our programming, social media, our music- this list could go on as well). I deleted my social media accounts (facebook and instagram) for a few reasons: they are addicting and I find myself checking them without even meaning to and for no particular reason at all except that my muscle memory has been programmed to do so. Also, I feel like it fills our minds with unnecessary information and problems, information about other peoples lives (be it their struggles, gripes, complaints or their need to constantly impress everyone else), and i dont know about everyone else, but my mind is nearly full. I dont have time to fill that space worrying about everyone elses worries. It takes me back to my old life, as a child or teenager, when social media didnt exist, and all we had were letters, or phone calls and our own imagination to decide what we liked or disliked. Now with social media, everyone is suddenly influenced by what they see and that is how they decide how they should be living their lives. everyone lives in a world of virtual friends, where impressing your "virtual friend" is the goal, taking pictures is no longer about having a memory, but its instantly about how can i make this photo look good on instagram or facebook, its about impressing other people ( even if you dont realize it, or think you arent guilty, this is what its about, and you are). Having deleted it all has been great- i am FREE. I take photos for me, I decide what i like and dislike because its what ive decided for myself, I dont have to worry about the worries my "virtual friends" are having, I have no more gossip to worry myself with- infiltrating me with negativity, and most importantly its how i want to raise my son. I want him to know a real life. a simple life. not an electronic life. not virtual friends. not a personality formed by the influences hes seen on social media.

I want my son to travel and explore and have a garden and sunshine and creativity and actual real friends and less stuff and more happiness.

30 has been quite impressive so far.

speaking of homemade, simple living, I also ventured into homemade fruit roll ups as well, which you gobbled up! they were so yummy! whatever fruit you'd like, pureed, then a little honey or sugar ( or none if the fruit is sweet enough), then bake for about 6 hours on the lowest setting! yum!